The Grinch That Stole Fishmas
By: Harrison Storm
Submitted: 12/10/2004
By: Harrison Storm
Submitted: 12/10/2004
Every Betta down in Bettaville liked Fishmas a lot,
But the Grinch, who cleaned betta jars surely did not!
The Grinch dreaded Fishmas! The whole Fishy season!
Now, please don't ask why. He might tell you the reason.
It could be the jars, in their sad, filthy State.
It could be, perhaps,all the eggs his fish ate.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was his last seven spawns wouldn't grow, not at all.
Staring into the fishroom with a sour, Grinchy look
He counted the fish, his broken heaters did cook.
He fed all the breeders and young in the tanks
The last female, she bit him. Some kind of thanks!
'They all act like I starve them!' he snarled with a sneer.
'Tomorrow is Fishmas! It's practically here!'
Then he growled, with his Grinch finger painfully throbbing,
'I just have to stop Fishmas!' Then some un-macho sobbing.
For tomorrow, he knew, all the breeders for spawning
Would wake bright and early. Long before the sun's dawning.
And they spawn! Oh, the sight! Oh, the sight! sight! sight! sight!
That's the one thing he hated! The fight! fight! fight! fight!
Then the Bettas, young and old, would swim down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on the eggs, as they fell from the nest,
Which the Grinch couldn't stand, eating fry even less!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Betta down in Bettaville, the big and the small,
Would all swim together, with Fishmas fins flaring.
They'd smack on the glass, at their neighbor fish, glaring!
Fins would rip! And they'd rip!
And they'd rip rip rip rip!
(Don't you think that this rhyme is really a trip?)
And the more the Grinch thought of this Mad Fishmas-Fling,
The more the Grinch thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!
Why, for twenty two years I've put up with it now!
I must stop Fishmas from coming! If I only knew how!'
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
'I know just what to do!' the Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made quick with duct tape, tooth picks, and some rope.
And he chuckled, and clucked, 'What a great Grinchy trick!
These new betta blinders might work out, real slick.'
'All I need is to place them, with great loving care.'
'It's what any smart betta with fashion would wear!'
Did the bettas just take this? No, they all simply said,
'I'm not wearing that stupid THING on my head!'
So he held each one down, and applied his device
Which the fish really found to be less than quite nice.
He reasoned that if they could not see at all
Then they'd have no reason to bicker and brawl.
With visions of triumph awash in his head,
The Grinch settled down in his high platform bed.
Next morning, in the shower, he was grinchishly humming.
'They're finding out, just now, that no Fishmas is coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Bettas down in Bettaville will all cry boo-hoo!
'That's a sight,' grinned the Grinch, 'that I simply must see!'
So he ran to his fishroom all filled with glee.
As he stared out at Bettaville, the Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Betta in Bettaville, the big and the small,
Had ripped off his fins till there were none left at all!
He HADN'T stopped Fishmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch felt his blood go as ice-cold as snow,
He stood puzzling and puzzling: 'How could it be so?
It came to the breeders! It came to the fry!
It came to the fish hard to see with your eye!'
And he puzzled for hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
'Maybe Fishmas,' he thought, 'I don't know how to say....
Maybe Fishmas... perhaps... happens here, every day!'
And what happened then? Well, in Bettaville they say
That the Grinch threw his whole breeding program away!
And he said, 'What the hell, let them eat eggs for the feast!
And the Grinch got to 'sleep in' the next morning, at least!
- Harrison Storm
But the Grinch, who cleaned betta jars surely did not!
The Grinch dreaded Fishmas! The whole Fishy season!
Now, please don't ask why. He might tell you the reason.
It could be the jars, in their sad, filthy State.
It could be, perhaps,all the eggs his fish ate.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
Was his last seven spawns wouldn't grow, not at all.
Staring into the fishroom with a sour, Grinchy look
He counted the fish, his broken heaters did cook.
He fed all the breeders and young in the tanks
The last female, she bit him. Some kind of thanks!
'They all act like I starve them!' he snarled with a sneer.
'Tomorrow is Fishmas! It's practically here!'
Then he growled, with his Grinch finger painfully throbbing,
'I just have to stop Fishmas!' Then some un-macho sobbing.
For tomorrow, he knew, all the breeders for spawning
Would wake bright and early. Long before the sun's dawning.
And they spawn! Oh, the sight! Oh, the sight! sight! sight! sight!
That's the one thing he hated! The fight! fight! fight! fight!
Then the Bettas, young and old, would swim down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast!
And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on the eggs, as they fell from the nest,
Which the Grinch couldn't stand, eating fry even less!
And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!
Every Betta down in Bettaville, the big and the small,
Would all swim together, with Fishmas fins flaring.
They'd smack on the glass, at their neighbor fish, glaring!
Fins would rip! And they'd rip!
And they'd rip rip rip rip!
(Don't you think that this rhyme is really a trip?)
And the more the Grinch thought of this Mad Fishmas-Fling,
The more the Grinch thought, 'I must stop this whole thing!
Why, for twenty two years I've put up with it now!
I must stop Fishmas from coming! If I only knew how!'
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!
'I know just what to do!' the Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made quick with duct tape, tooth picks, and some rope.
And he chuckled, and clucked, 'What a great Grinchy trick!
These new betta blinders might work out, real slick.'
'All I need is to place them, with great loving care.'
'It's what any smart betta with fashion would wear!'
Did the bettas just take this? No, they all simply said,
'I'm not wearing that stupid THING on my head!'
So he held each one down, and applied his device
Which the fish really found to be less than quite nice.
He reasoned that if they could not see at all
Then they'd have no reason to bicker and brawl.
With visions of triumph awash in his head,
The Grinch settled down in his high platform bed.
Next morning, in the shower, he was grinchishly humming.
'They're finding out, just now, that no Fishmas is coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two
Then the Bettas down in Bettaville will all cry boo-hoo!
'That's a sight,' grinned the Grinch, 'that I simply must see!'
So he ran to his fishroom all filled with glee.
As he stared out at Bettaville, the Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Betta in Bettaville, the big and the small,
Had ripped off his fins till there were none left at all!
He HADN'T stopped Fishmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch felt his blood go as ice-cold as snow,
He stood puzzling and puzzling: 'How could it be so?
It came to the breeders! It came to the fry!
It came to the fish hard to see with your eye!'
And he puzzled for hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
'Maybe Fishmas,' he thought, 'I don't know how to say....
Maybe Fishmas... perhaps... happens here, every day!'
And what happened then? Well, in Bettaville they say
That the Grinch threw his whole breeding program away!
And he said, 'What the hell, let them eat eggs for the feast!
And the Grinch got to 'sleep in' the next morning, at least!
- Harrison Storm